Listen to Kicker of Elves. It’s a classic. Here’s why I say so.
1. Never has the case for elf-kicking been laid out so neatly before.
2. It’s by Guided by Voices, which is a startlingly appropriate name for the kind of band Guided by Voices are.
3. It’s off an album called Bee Thousand. This name reportedly came about when Robert Pollard tried to say “Pete Townshend” whilst keeping his tongue pinched between thumb and forefinger. That’s totally meaningful.
4. It’s got social uses; it opens people’s minds to the joys of kicking elves. I too would one day like to kick an elf.
5. Got a troublesome girlfriend or wife? Play this, she’ll scoot. If she does like it, which she won’t, then she’s probably worth the trouble. Keep her. </life advice>
6. It cries out loud for Knickers of Elves jokes; how many songs can you say that about?
Convinced? I bet.