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Back Down, Michael, She’s Not as Horny as You Are, so Learn to Live with it.

Okay, this is the perfect song. It’s the best song ever written, and the best take on it ever done, and you lot can’t see it because you’re such a bunch of sad-faced dullards, whining and moaning all the time about how nothing works etc. etc.; the fact of it is, none of you recognise class when you see it, which is why you’ll always be unlaid and miserable.

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The Sweetest Pet

What would you do if your worst moment – with your impotence and your charlatanry all laid bare – were captured on film, for the world to watch, and re-watch, at will, forever and ever, so you were never allowed to forget it, or ever live it down? If you’re Mick Jagger, you would retreat into the high-tower of superstardom you had built for yourself, never to be seen again by the world except at a distance, as a celebrity, a character and a performer, everything but as a living, breathing, fragile human being.

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